How To Shop Like A Pro at the Pro Shop

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Are you visiting Lambeau Field any time soon?

Do you have an exorbitant amount of expendable income?

Is there a need in your life for stuff?

Then do I have just the place for you! The Packers Pro Shop is a veritable treasure trove of memorabilia, except you have to actually pay for this treasure. No trip to football’s Mecca would be complete without a visit to this shrine of capitalistic trinket peddling. You will find things you had no idea you wanted. Scratch that, you NEED these things. What things, you ask?

 

A Beautiful Vest For All Occasions

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Check this out, and try to think of any gathering of humanity that this would not be appropriate for. Job interview? Impress your prospective employer with this jazzy number. Your kid’s wedding? How proud they would be to point you out in the pictures 20 years from now! There are innumerable places that this vest would be appreciated. And it’s on clearance for $34.99, so it’s practically stealing–in which case you could wear this to your court hearing.

 

Toddler Size Bobbleheads (That Almost Resemble The Actual Players)

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If you’re in the market for 3 foot tall, 75 lb bobbleheads that look like they were designed by a police sketch artist who passed the sketch course with a C, then boy howdy do I have something for you. These things are works of art, much like Picasso would create. Yes, Clay Matthews appears to be wearing one of those cones of shame that dogs get when they chew off their stitches and he looks more than a little like Jodie Sweetin from Full(er) House. And Aaron Rodgers looks like Keanu Reeves. But come on, they’re only $749.00 apiece! Don’t delay, refinance your home today!

 

Basketballs

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I’ll admit this is confusing. But stick with me here. They’re only $15. Buy 3, impress your friends!

 

Jeff Janis Fan Club Kit

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No explanation necessary. No returns accepted.

 

Yes, it’s true. The Packers Pro Shop has everything you could ever need to show your loyalty. Make a trip today!

 

Thank you for reading. James Korsmo is Lead Humor Writer at Titletown Sound Off. You can follow him on Twitter @jksub20. For even more Packers content, follow us on Twitter and Like us on Facebook.

 

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By James Korsmo

I love my family, the Packers, beer, and nachos. More or less in that order. @jksub20 on Twitter.

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