Quick Slants Week 1 vs Jacksonville
FOOTBALL’S BACK!!!! LET US ALL DANCE AND SING AND CELEBRATE WITH JOY!!!
- Blake Bortles is a fun name to say. But he looks like the lead singer from Train, and I really don’t like them. So, by proxy, I don’t like Blake Bortles.
- When you get an interception, treat it like a baby. Take care of it, do not drop it. It’s a gift.
- There has never been a quarterback in the history of the NFL who is as good at getting free plays as Aaron Rodgers. This is fact.
- So Davante Adams had a confusing first half. He ran a few routes that apparently came to him in dreams, then dropped a beautiful pass. Twitter wanted him put in that stupid pool at the stadium with cement boots. Then he made the nicest catch of his career for a TD. The pass was MVP caliber, and the catch was too.
- Speaking of that stupid pool, there is no amount of money less than 6 digits long that would convince me to take a dip in that alcohol excrement.
- Quinton Rollins had a tough go of it today. He caused an interception, but spent the rest of the game getting burned for big gains and throwing himself at the feet of the ball carrier. Eventually Ladarius Gunter replaced him.
- Jordathan Nelson is back. HE’S BACK!
- Mike McCarthy says he’s not a conservative coach, then they Packers run 3 straight balls up the middle from the 3 yard line. Actions speak louder than words, Coach.
- What’s the NFL record for 4th down conversions? Cause I have to think that Jacksonville at least came close.
- Blake Bortles needs some Drops of Jupiter to tell him how to manage the clock.
- Nick Perry, Datone Jones, and Clay Matthews were in the backfield all game long. Mike Daniels was disruptive, too. Kenny Clark apparently decided to ease into his NFL career by doing as little as possible. Work smart, not hard. Good strategy for Peppers, not for a rookie.
- True story: when it gets above 85 degrees, I stick ice cubes down my pants and lay under an air conditioner. I can’t imagine playing a football game.
- Caps lock alert, if you are allergic, please scroll down.
- STOP PITCHING THE BALL TO LACY ON 2ND AND 3 WITH 3 MINUTES LEFT IN THE GAME UP BY ANY AMOUNT OF POINT, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY
- I don’t know what pass interference is anymore.
- Morgan Burnett had a terrible game, but that holding call was pretty lame.
- Damarious Randall wins ballgames. I LOVE YOU DAMARIOUS SO MUCH!
- Randall did the same thing to Bortles that he did to Philip Rivers last year. Baited him, then made a play. He’s the future.
- This was a tough game, like most people predicted. The offense did just enough and the defense held on. It was a grinding win, one that should galvanize this team. Let’s hope Sam Shields will be okay, because this defense could be special.
- I LOVE THE GREEN BAY PACKERS SO MUCH.
- GO PACK GO