Quick Slants Week 17: Packers vs Lions

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Thanks to Kirk “Kissing” Cousins winging the ball around the greater Washington DC metro area, the Packers had a playoff spot locked up before they even took the field on Sunday night. I liked that. Did the Packers win the division or make their way in as the wild card? Here we go…..

  • The offense came out of the gate on the first drive and looked hesitant. Aaron Ripkowski whiffed on a middle blitz pick up and Aaron Rodgers paid the price. Gotta clean that stuff up.
  • Damarious Randall was absolutely destroyed by Golden Tate on a stop and go route that Matt Stafford missed. Randall’s fall from last year’s potential is absolutely incredible.
  • Golden Tate got called for a push off. 5 years too late.
  • No big deal, just a run of the mill Packers touchd…..OH GOT IT WAS RIPPER I NEED CPR AND PANTS
  • The Packers defense is the perfect storm of suck. With the exception of about 3 or 4 guys, the personnel sucks. The coordinator and coaching sucks. The scheme sucks. It all just sucks.
  • After the Ripper scored, the Packers offense went back into hibernation. It was a flashback to everything that was awful for a year and a half leading up until December, and it made me sad. So sad.
  • Clay Matthews used his salon gloves tonight and dropped an easy interception. This, of course, led to points for the Lions. Because, that is how the universe works.
  • The Packers have to have the absolute worst late half defense in the history of the NFL.
  • Great drive coming out of halftime for Green Bay’s offense. Rhythm, consistency, good play calling. Nice touchdown pitch and catch from Rodgers to Davante Adams, who then committed a felonious violent act of spousal abus….oh wait. He whipped his son in the testic….no…that’s not it either. He dunked the football over the goalpoasts. What a grievous error. However, as much as I disagree with the existence of the penalty, it exists. You have to follow it. Bad form.
  • The Packers offensive line emptied their clip into their own feet. False starts, holds, missed assignments. Some of this can be attributed to the sound level of the dome, but it’s undisciplined football.
  • Quentin Rollins suffered a scary looking injury, and was immobilized on a backboard before being taken to the locker room. Football is a game. It’s his occupation, but at the end of the day, it’s a sport. Something that means very little in the grand scheme of life. Be damned with his career, he is a human being, and I really hope that he is able to recover.
  • Aaron Rodgers is the baddest man on the planet. That touchdown pass to Geronimo Allison….nobody, and I mean absolutely NOBODY else makes that play. Not one other human being on Earth. None of them.
  • Rodgers conducted the drive that gave the Packers the NFC North Division Championship in the 4th quarter. It was surgical. He is the MVP, no matter who gets the trophy.
  • I gave the defense (and Dom Capers) all kinds of grief in the first half. The way they came out in the second half and shut Stafford down was impressive, especially when they lost 3 of their cornerbacks. Kudos, Dom. You worked your devil magic again.
  • 6 weeks ago, the Packers went full Forrest Gump, and decided to go for a run. A month and a half later, they got got to the other side of the table. It’s been a fun ride, let’s keep it going. GO PACK GO!!!!


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By James Korsmo

I love my family, the Packers, beer, and nachos. More or less in that order. @jksub20 on Twitter.

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