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Quick Slants Week 9: Packers vs Colts

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Week 9 saw Andrew Luck’s creepy facial hair come to town. Let’s take a look at the results…

  • Congratulations, east coast. You missed the continuation of the Zooking.
  • Good news: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix remembers how to catch. Bad news: The offense doesn’t care.
  • HHCD went out and made a play after Mike Daniels forced a bad throw. Then the offense came out and did absolutely nothing, and Mason Crosby reverted to 2012. If that wasn’t bad enough, the defense gave up a ridiculously easy touchdown drive immediately. What a terrible way to begin this game. All phases of this team were as flat as Dom Capers’ toupee.
  • I don’t understand Mike McCarthy, and I’m afraid it’s an impossible endeavor. When you play a team with obvious flaws, but ignore them to push your own agenda that clearly isn’t working, something is very wrong with your brain.
  • HHCD is probably the most underrated safety in the league.
  • What a touchdown catch by Jordy Nelson to end the first quarter. He just zoinked it.
  • Kickoff coverage for the Packers was so bad, Shawn Slocum called and asked for tips.
  • Jeff Janis is on this team for 2 reasons: special teams, and running go routes. He couldn’t do either today.
  • Aaron Rodgers reverting back to his terrible mechanics and poor decisions didn’t help either.
  • The Colts driving 96 yards in 15 plays to close out the first half was the icing on a poop cake. I don’t know how else to put it.
  • How does an NFL team, with the opportunity to tie up the division, play like their collective goldfish just died? I don’t understand it.
  • I was hoping that there would be some sort of magic come to Jesus meeting at halftime….but apparently they they just watched McCarthy eat a polish sausage.
  • The first drive of the 3rd quarter started out promising, but because this is a thing that cannot be allowed on the first Sunday of every month, it died a hilariously sloppy death.
  • Squirrels are cute, but they often cause property damage and illness. Much like the Packers offense to me today.
  • It is embarrassing to be on the receiving end of such a thumping by a team who hadn’t shown any life for a quarter of the season. Everybody on this team not named Ha Ha Clinton Dix or Jacob Schum should be absolutely mortified that they were a part of this nonsense in any fashion.
  • At the same time, I have to take responsibility for how I feel about it. I predicted a big Packers win, based on the resurgence of the offense last week and the Colts inability to play football well recently. By doing this, I set myself up for feeling abject pain and sorrow when the exact opposite happened. Any given Sunday is fact.
  • Today we watched a team give up, which is something I cannot believe I have to write. I never would have imagined this. But there’s enough season left that I’m not heading to the pitchfork and flaming torch emporium yet. Everybody from the top of the organization to the last guy on the practice squad needs to be held accountable for this. It’s inexcusable.
  • I love the Green Bay Packers with all my heart. But I do not like this team right now.
  • GO PACK GO

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By James Korsmo

I love my family, the Packers, beer, and nachos. More or less in that order. @jksub20 on Twitter.

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